Acceptance
by CedwardPattinsonian
Summary: Edward and the Cullens left Bella when she had Renesmee after turning her. Find out how Bella deals with his absence and what happens when he returns. Got 2nd place in the Twilight Awards, category Post-BD.
1. Prologue: Numb

PROLOGUE: Numb

PROLOGUE: Numb

Sunken, red, sleepless eyes. Prominent cheekbones. Tired shadows and thinning, unexercised lips.

My face, twelve months after it happened. That is, what it would be if I were still human. Now I fed less, I talked less, I moved less. I smiled less.

When he left, I had thought I couldn't sink into lower pits of despair than I had then. Boy, was I wrong.

Although the pain was numbed because I tried not to think about it anymore, it seemed that every time I was reminded of that day, the knife in my heart which had been slowly easing out thrust itself agonizingly back in, even further than before.

Suicide was a regular and daily consideration. The only thing that could keep me going was my daughter. Beautiful, darling, Renesmee. Every time I saw her it broke my heart to be reminded of her father by her face, yet I couldn't leave her! It used to comfort me, to see this shadow of the past in her. To know and have proof that he actually existed, that I hadn't dreamed the whole thing up.

But even now, she was my life, the only precious thing I had left, the only small shard of hope. Hope that, perhaps, her father would come back for her. For me.


	2. Chapter 1: First Day

CHAPTER ONE: First Day

CHAPTER ONE: First Day

"Hurry, hurry, Renesmee," I rushed my child. She touched my face to show a vivid picture of her running to Jacob. "That's right. Put on your shoes and we'll head to Jake's." I was taking Renesmee to La Push to be babysat. I couldn't, after all, attend college with her in tow.

"C'mon, sweetie, Jacob can't wait much longer," I said with a small smile—a rare occurrence these days.

"Okay, momma," Renesmee giggled knowingly. "I'm ready." I attempted to smile at her, but it came out as a grimace. As always. But she was used to it and recognized when I was happy with her. She smiled back and waited for me to pick her up.

"Ooh, sweetie, you're getting so big!" I lifted her into my arms, shut the door of our small house, and ran.

The trees and foliage flew past with a whoosh. Renesmee laughed in delight, as she always did when I ran with her. I slowed when we reached Jacob and Billy's house.

"Hey there, Ness!" Jake came running out to meet us. He swooped in and lifted Renesmee from my clutch. "Hey, Bells," he greeted me without looking away from Renesmee.

I nodded. "I—have to get going." I waved to my daughter and sped away from Jacob's loving embrace around her.

Within a few minutes I was hidden in the trees that surrounded Forks Community College. Here I practiced being human. Blink, fidget, blink, scratch, blink again. My eyes were no longer red; they had changed to a muted golden color. So I didn't have to worry about that. I only hoped I wouldn't attract too much attention.

I walked as slowly as I could out of the trees and took a deep breath. I stopped at the reception desk. "Hello, uh—Isabella Swan…?"

The plump woman squinted her eyes and nodded briskly. "Hello, Isabella, welcome to FCC. Would you like a map of the campus?"

"No, thank you. I already have one," I replied politely.

The woman smiled falsely. "Well, then, have a nice time here, Isabella."

I thanked her, all the while internally rolling my eyes. Then I set off for my first class. Classic Poetry. Wow, this would be fun.

I worked hard all day and did my assignments thoroughly when I went home. It kept me distracted and productive. I realized that I hadn't thought about _him_ since this morning, when I dropped off Renesmee at La Push. _Amazing_. I pushed myself harder until all the work I could have possibly done that day was finished.

_Ring, ring, ring_. Perfect timing. "Hi, Jake," I answered my cell phone.

"Hi, Bella," Jacob laughed. "How was the first day of college?"

"Not bad, you?" I replied automatically. "I mean—"

There was guffawing on the other side of the line. "Nice try."

I laughed nervously. "Sorry."

"Anyway, Renesmee and I are heading to your house," Jacob told me.

"Oh, Jake—I said I would pick her up—you don't have to—"

"Oh yes, I do," he said very seriously. "Nessie asked me over for dinner."

I snorted. "Give her my gracious thanks."

Jacob chuckled. "See ya soon, Bells."


	3. Chapter 2: Panic

CHAPTER TWO: Panic

CHAPTER TWO: Panic

"Momma!" Renesmee cried happily when Jacob reluctantly relinquished her into my hold.

I stroked her hair absentmindedly. "Hello. So whatcha hunting tonight?"

"Hmm..well, are you coming with us, Bells?" He looked at me skeptically. I hunted less and less these days, as if starving myself could kill me.

"Uhhhh…." I didn't really want to hunt. I was never in the mood. The much-needed passion and bloodlust was missing from my mindset.

"Bells, you haven't fed in over two months! You don't want to endanger other people, especially now that you're attending college," Jake protested.

"Fine," I groaned. He knew my weaknesses. One: Renesmee. The other: keeping humans safe.

Jacob grinned. "Hear that, beautiful?" he told Renesmee. "Your mother is coming with us!"

"Yay!" My daughter was thrilled. She touched me with her hand and showed me an image of me, holding her hand and running with her, attacking a deer.

"Wait, Ness," Jake held her back before she could run off. "Measuring time!" He took a measuring tape out of a drawer and began to measure her height, width, and the rest. She was growing unbearably fast. By now she was probably about the size of a seven or eight-year-old. The most gorgeous "eight-year-old" in the world.

Renesmee waited patiently for the measurements to be done, then scampered out the door towards the woods. "Come catch me," she yelled. Jacob and I ran after her, matching each other's speed.

When he came close, he snuck up on her oh-so-quietly, then scooped her up in his big arms. "Gotcha!"

Renesmee squirmed and giggled. "Let me go, Jakey, let me go!"

I attempted to hide my grimace. Luckily, Jacob and my daughter were much too involved in their foolery to notice my distaste. I stepped away and tried not to watch the spectacle. Too much here reminded me of the past. _Way_ too much.

I ate a small deer quietly behind a tree, trying to block the sounds of their folly from my ears.

"There's one, there's one!" I heard Jacob yell. Then I heard sounds of delight from Renesmee as she spotted some large, appealing animal. "Race ya to it!" Jake laughed. The air whooshed as they both ran towards the target, Jacob quite obviously slowing so that my daughter could stay ahead.

As they reached it, someone gleefully smacked their lips and devoured the animal with much enthusiasm. Then a high-pitched giggle escaped their mouth.

I stepped out from behind the tree to see my daughter's satisfaction. I really loved when she was so completely happy. She glanced at me and waved, then broke out into a grin as she ran to Jacob. He lifted her up with a chuckle as I watched with a bit of envy.

When Jacob kissed Renesmee so wholeheartedly on the cheek—he had probably done this before, I just hadn't witnessed it—my stomach lurched. Everything crashed and burned before my eyes. If I had only been human, I would have fainted mercifully, sparing me from the haunting images that flashed through my head.

Edward's lovely face appeared suddenly, smack dab center in my brain. At this I panicked and fled from the forest.

"_Run, run, run_," I encouraged myself. "_Don't think about it. Not—him_." I winced as I was forced to think ofhim yet again. I ran, using only instinct as a guide, away from the daughter and friend whom I loved. My brain stopped functioning normally and I only felt the wind.


	4. Chapter 3: Alone Time

Chapter 3: Alone Time

Chapter 3: Alone Time

Left, right, left, right, left, right. One foot in front of the other. I tried not to think. But my sweatpants felt saggy and heavy on my legs. My t-shirt was a burden on my back. I wanted to move even faster than the normal vampire speed. I wanted to get further away from the love I had left behind me.

After a full 24 hours of running away from my loved ones, I felt guilty that I had just left Jacob without an explanation. And my Renesmee. What did she think of my loss of control? Did she miss me? Was she miserable about my absence? Or did they expect that something like this would happen eventually?

I slowed to a walk, and wandered through nowhere. These unforgiving thoughts pounded persistently through my head for the next few long, lonely days I spent in the wilderness, until I couldn't take it any longer. I wished I could sleep the thoughts away. Lately I had been wishing I wasn't such a—well, a vampire. I didn't want to stay alive forever if he wasn't with me. And I wanted to die easily, not at the hands of the Volturi.

Thinking about them, I remembered how he had left me once before. He had promised to never, ever leave again. How could I have believed him? He didn't love me. It was all some kind of fluke.

I grew angry as I realized this. I had let him slide the last time—how could he do it again? He should have stayed away. He didn't love me. He didn't love me. Edward didn't love me. That bastard. Edward!

I thought his name with ferocity. Then I said it out loud. "Edward. Edward! EDWARD!" I growled. It didn't hurt to say his name anymore. He was a fucked up son-of-a bitch vampire who had impregnated me and left me—with a child he had believed to be a monster! If Renesmee was such a monster, why did he leave me alone with her?! How did he expect me to deal with a monster on my own?

I tried to calm myself. After all, Renesmee was definitely not a monster—a very low-maintenance child most of the time, actually. Then why wouldn't he have stayed? Because he didn't want a child. And he didn't love me enough to stay and deal with the child. No. Of course not. How could I have failed to see this earlier? It was so plainly obvious that I felt a fool for being so depressed the last year.

Well, I would have to do something about this, now wouldn't I? I wasn't just going to leave him alone after all the misery he had put me through! I would destroy him! No, I couldn't kill him. I owed him my life several times over. And it would be too heart wrenching, after all that we had been through. I could never live with myself if I did that.

It would have to be something terribly devious. Something thoroughly humiliating. Something that would make him regret all that he had ever done to me.

First, I would have to return home. I could face Jacob and Renesmee now. Love didn't scare me anymore. When I reached Forks, I could organize my thoughts better and make arrangements with Jake.

So I sped off through the trees to plot my revenge.


	5. Chapter 4: Return

"Renesmee! Sweetie!" I cried when I saw my daughter's lovely face. I rushed to her and clutched her tightly.

"Momma? Momma!" she clapped her hands in delight. I kissed her on the cheek.

Jake strolled towards me from his house with a mock pout on his face. "Aww, you're back _again_?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha." I laughed sarcastically. "Didn't get enough time with my baby girl yet?"

He chuckled. "Not quite."

I rolled my eyes. "It's good to be back."

Jacob stared at me curiously. "You seem a little bit more—_lively_ today...what's up?"

"I had an epiphany," I laughed, partly serious, partly joking.

His eyes widened. "For real? Like, for real, for real?"

I laughed again. "For real, for real. Edward is a—" I stopped, remembering that Renesmee was still in my arms.

"Mhmm…?" Jake prompted me.

I shook my head, smiling.

"Is a freakin' mofo." He finished the sentence for me. "Or is that too much?" he looked at me anxiously. "I mean, y'know, if you meant something else, or—"

"No, no," I giggled, "You're absolutely and positively _correct_."

He grinned, still a little unsure. "So, you've fallen out of love with him, in other words?"

I nodded and grinned back at him.

He was utterly shocked and speechless. "Um. Yeah, okay, that works. But, uh—you know I can't just—" He stopped uneasily. "I can't—"

"Spit it out, Jake!" I laughed.

"Bells, you know I can't just—what I mean to say is—well, I can't leave Renesmee if that's what you want. I wish I could, and I still love you, but in a different way, y'know?" He shrugged awkwardly.

I stared at him. "You can't be serious."

"You know the rules of the imprint," he said desperately, pleading with me.

I broke out snickering. "Jake—I don't want—to be with you—that way!" I explained between gasps of breath.

"Oh." He sighed in relief.

"Now, I have to explain the situation to you," I began.

Renesmee bounced up and down on my lap as Jacob and I discussed strategies. Normally I wouldn't be sitting, but Jake did get tired sometimes and it unnerved him when I stood above him. Good human practice, anyway.

"Bella," he said suddenly. "What happened to college?"

"Oh. Shit," I cursed, and then cursed again ("Dammit!") when I remembered my daughter was listening. Renesmee shook her finger at me. "Bad momma. No profanity allowed!"

I wore an ashamed face. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Jake cleared his throat. "Back to the issue at hand," he reminded me.

"Right. College. What am I supposed to do about that? I haven't been for an entire week!"

"You'll just have to explain you were—sick."

I snorted. "That's original."

"A vampire has to fake sick at some time!" he defended his suggestion. "Besides, you're really very convincing. Now that you're perfect and immortal and all."

"I guess that's true," I agreed.

"Good, that's settled." Then Jacob yawned. "I gotta get a nap. See ya." And he began to lumber up to his room. "Oh, by the way," he stopped walking, "We received a letter here for you. Dunno who it's from. Wonder why they sent it to La Push instead of your house?"


	6. Chapter 5: Letter

Chapter 5: Letter

Chapter 5: Letter

Renesmee fell asleep on the couch, shortly after Jacob. I gave her a kiss and put a blanket over her body.

I found the letter on Jake's kitchen table. The envelope was addressed to Ms. Bella Cullen, with an Alaskan return address. Huh. Weird. I went by Isabella Swan nowadays. No one was permitted to call me Bella except Jacob and Charlie. If I had a received a letter addressed like this before today, I would have burst out crying, seeing the name **Cullen** right there in front of me. But I had strengthened myself and made a fool of my woes. I could get through a little name.

I carefully slid the envelope open and unfolded the letter. It read:

Dear Bella,

I hope it was alright for me to send this to La Push. I don't know where you are living now. How is Renesmee? I know it is terrible of me to ask about her, seeing that we left because of her, but she was such a beautiful baby.

Don't be upset, please, Bella, I beg of you!

At this I snorted. "Upset?! Just upset?!" But I continued reading.

None of us wanted to leave. It was simply the right thing to do at the time. Do forgive me. Forgive all of us.

We have been looking out for you, dear, we would never forget about you, We have been keeping track of Renesmee too, you know. We do love her. We would love her no matter what she was. She is still your, and Edward's, child. We love you too, Bella. All of us. Even him, if you can still believe that. He is wrecked about you and what happened. He can hardly bear it anymore.

Anyway, Bella, we all miss you an awful lot. And I miss talking to you, so does Alice! We really, really, really love you Bella. No matter what happens you will always be our sister and friend. You must keep this in mind, forever and always. Keep in touch.

Love,

**Rose**

I gasped out loud as I read the signature. My head pounded with emotion. What was she playing at? The Cullens had left for good. I had still been trying to recover, and I get this? I would have been set right off into depression again, if…If I hadn't decided that Edward was a no-good fucker who toyed with my heart and delighted in my misery.

What was I to do? Should I write back? Or…Or what? I thought about this for a millisecond or two. What was the worst that could happen? It wouldn't break my heart again, that's for sure. I was way over that bastard. And Rosalie had become such a dear friend to me while I was pregnant. It would be so nice to be able to communicate with her again.

I would do it. I would write a letter back to her. The hard part would be writing it.

Hmm…what could I say that wouldn't seem awkward or distressed? I chewed on my pen for a second like I had in the old days, then spit it out, hating the taste.

I decided to keep it polite and simple.

Dear Rose,

It is so great to hear from you again. Renesmee is doing wonderfully, thank you. She grows unbelievably fast, but she is still the same lovely Renesmee. I am reminded of Edward every time I see her face.

Thanks for the apology, but I am no longer down about Edward's absconding. I am, however, missing you, Alice, and the rest very, very much. I will not request to see you again as that may be too much to ask. I would like to keep in touch with you, though. I felt I had lost a best friend when you left.

I won't go into sentimentalities. Just let me know how the family is doing. Do NOT mention Edward and do NOT tell him we are in communication. I don't want to see or hear from him ever again.

Love,

Bella

That should do it. I sealed the envelope and addressed it to Rosalie Hale. Then I hurried outside to mail it. When I came back to Jake's house, he was awake and wondering where I was. He spotted me coming through the door.

"Hey, Bells, what were you up to while I was napping?" he asked cheerfully.

"Uh, nothing much," I lied while looking down to hide my guilty eyes.

"Did you find out who that letter was from?" he questioned me curiously.

I froze while thinking of a good response. Should I tell him? Or would he be outraged as this sudden communication between a Cullen and I?


	7. Chapter 6: Changes

Chapter 6: Changes

Chapter 6: Changes

I didn't tell him. I was afraid of what he would say. I lied to his face.

"Junk mail," I looked in his eyes this time, daring him to say I was lying. To my surprise, he believed me! I guess I really had that magical convincing power most vampires use to lure their prey.

"Oh," he shrugged. "That sucks. Nothing cool."

"Nope," I laughed nervously, but he didn't notice.

"Um. By the way," he said slowly. Ness woke up while you were gone and came to sleep next to me. If—that's okay? With you. That she's—yeah," he finished lamely.

I eyed him cautiously. "Just don't play with me, Jake," I warned. "Nothing silly."

"Sure, sure, of course Bells, 'course," he replied quickly, with some relief.

There was dead silence for a moment. Then we both burst out laughing. "She's—haha—just—(gasp)—a kid!" he guffawed. We both rolled around laughing our stomachs off. Tears were streaming from his eyes.

"But not for long, Jake, not for long." He stopped laughing and stared after me as I walked away.

The next day, when it was naptime for certain people, Renesmee slept in Jake's bed again. And the next day. And the next. For the entire next year. For four years. In fact, it had come to the point where she was uncomfortable sleeping in her own bed at home. And I noticed that whenever Jake wasn't around, she would become crabby and irritated.

So we were at his house more than we were ever at home! His small house had become more of a home than our large, fancy mansion. Funny how that happened. One day we were sleeping in our own beds, the next it was Jacob's every night. Eventually he had to buy a larger bed. Renesmee was growing steadily every day.

I didn't want to crowd Billy. There wasn't enough space in this cramped little house for four of us to live comfortably. "Why don't you and Billy move into _our_ house?" I suggested to Jake one day.

"I'll ask," he mumbled in a strange tone. Then I remembered that Billy had lived in this house, and on the reservation, for his whole life. He wouldn't want to leave it now. I wasn't sure about Jake…

Although Jacob phased less nowadays for Renesmee's benefit, he still did have to do it every now and then. It was his duty as an alpha and protector. And he didn't want to grow old. Ever. I knew he would rather do anything—anything at all—to stay alive forever and live with my daughter.

I rarely thought of Edward anymore, at least not with romantic feelings. I didn't have daydreams, or rather day-mares, about him either.

Then one day, Renesmee and Jacob were napping together. I was just sitting absolutely still. My instincts were still partly human, though, which was caused by spending so much time with humans, or half-humans anyway. So I had to pace around the room, for lack of a more interesting distraction.

I was thinking about how big my daughter had grown. Now, in reality only 5 years old, she had grown to the size of the average 13-year old. But just last week she had "become a woman." It seemed she was racing though puberty faster than a normal 13-year-old, too. She had an almost full bust, an almost matured body, and her face could have passed for a 16-year-old's. Her features were perfect in every way, and she learned unbelievably fast. Although I had home schooled her at first, I had placed her in school about two weeks ago. In the 9th grade. She could probably pass for older, but I kept it on the safe side.

…The first day she had come back home, I could tell there was something she was trying to hide from me. She avoided touching me so I couldn't see her thoughts or memories, but she gave in at last. She came up to me and said shyly, "There's something I want to show you."

When she touched my hand, I saw an attractive (in a human's eyes) young man flirting with my daughter. "Hey, baby," he smirked at her, trying to impress. When Renesmee resisted talking to him, he tried to grab her, to pull her closer. But of course I knew, and she knew, that this must never happen. She must never let anyone touch her besides people in the know.

My daughter was faster than the normal human, being half-vampire and all. She sped out of his approaching grasp and ran away.

Renesmee let go of my hand and looked at me ashamed, for some unexplainable reason. What, did she think it was her fault for being so beautiful?

"Oh, hon'," I comforted her. "It's alright. It's normal for immature boys that age."

Inside I was cursing that boy, whoever he might have been. How dare he?!

"Momma, I told all the other ones—I told them—" she burst out, then stopped.

"Told them what, dear?"

"That I have a—a boyfriend. A sixteen-year-old boyfriend," she confessed.

I stared. I didn't know what to say. "Well, that's—_okay_, honey, as long as you only say that for your own protection," I assured her nervously. "I mean, it's not like you're _romantically_ involved with Jake, right?"

She smiled and nodded. "Right."…

I lapsed out of the flashback of that rather frightening day, then sighed just thinking about it. I sat down again and tried to relax myself. There was nothing to worry about, right?

Then I heard a piercing scream. "Renesmee!" I shouted, racing up the stairs to Jacob's bedroom. The door was open. My darling was sitting up in bed, moaning softly. And Jake was—kissing her?


	8. Chapter 7: Forbidden Love

Chapter 7: Forbidden Love

Chapter 7: Forbidden Love

When he saw me, Jacob stopped kissing Renesmee. He cleared his throat and looked at me quite awkwardly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain?"

"I was just—I mean—I didn't mean, that is—what I mean to say is—"

"We weren't doing anything, Mom, I swear," Renesmee interrupted him. "I just had a horrible nightmare and he wanted to make me feel better. That's all."

"Yeah, Bella, I would never—" Jake looked at me anxiously. I nodded in acknowledgement of the fact. "You know I wouldn't. But she's so beautiful, and she was so scared, I couldn't stop myself. It was like an instinct, y'know?"

I let out my breath slowly. "Yes," I simply said. And then I walked away, not able to take it any longer. It reminded me of the forbidden love Edward and I used to share. Key words were _used to_. I reminded myself that I was no longer in love with him. He had broken my heart once, and it had mended. But I wouldn't fall prey to his teasing and seducing ever again. And Jacob and Renesmee could _have_ their forbidden love, unlike Edward and I. It wouldn't be forbidden any longer.

"Here's the rules," I began, looking right at Jacob. I knew if anyone were to break the rules, it would be him. Sweet Renesmee would never disobey me without temptation from a certain someone…

"Wait—there's rules? In dating?" Jake asked, surprised.

I rolled my eyes. "Always. Most are unwritten, but these are _my_ rules."

He smiled awkwardly in understanding. "Got it."

"Number one," I continued. "Don't be excessive or showy."

"How exactly do you define excessive?" Jacob interrupted.

I groaned in exasperation. "What grade are you in, 3rd? You must 'romance,' whisper sweet-nothings, or hold hands in moderation. And definitely not too much in front of me." Inside I felt queasy. I should talk, of all people of excessiveness. Edward and I used to kiss, touch, or talk romantically anytime we had a chance. But, as I had to remind myself again, Edward's relationship with me did not work out. Maybe that was our problem.

Renesmee cleared her throat. "Momma? You okay?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry," I apologized.

"Number two?" Jake prompted.

"Er, yes, um—abstinence. _Please_."

"Mom! We would never! We told you—"

"We're too young!" Jacob finished for her. "Well at least, _she_ is." He grinned ruefully.

My eyes shot warnings at him and he shut up. "And, number three—this is for you, Jake—Renesmee is allowed to have other friends, too. I don't want you two to spend every little second together. You both have lives besides each other." Again I cringed internally. How many times had I denied my friends for Edward? Did I ever _really_ care about my social or academic life while I was with him?

"Aye, aye, sir—er, ma'am," Jacob laughed raucously. "I'm not quite as much of a control freak as she makes me out to be, Ness, don't worry." He laughed again, then sobered when he saw my face.

He was right. _Edward_ had been the control freak. Why should I expect every boyfriend to be like him? That was unfair. I had based these rules upon the failures of my past relationship with Edward. Why couldn't I get him out of my brain?


	9. Chapter 8: New Perspective

Chapter 8: New Perspective

Chapter 8: New Perspective

JACOB

_Ugh, rules_ was what I was thinking when Bella announced that my relationship with Nessie would be on probation. Sometimes I just didn't know when Bella thought _I_ was _her_ mother or when she thought _she_ was _my_ mother. For instance, sometimes she would think she needed my permission to do something. And sometimes she would act as if I wasn't allowed to do anything on my own!

It hadn't been like this before. Before, meaning before Edward left. We acted like good friends toward each other, as we were. Not like this! We had our own lives that we were allowed to lead. But I guess, now that our lives were so connected in so many ways…and Bella didn't have anyone else to lean on now that Edward was gone, not really.

And when Bella told Ness and me there would be no sex, I knew it would be decent to accept this fact, to feel comfortable with this fact, to not care about this rule! But no, all of a sudden I was stripping Ness with my eyes. All of a sudden I saw her in a light that was, well, quite sensual. The healthy bust and butt were very apparent. And her eyes…the way she batted her lovely lashes…those Bella-brown eyes…

It was different than how I used to think of Bella. Less of a raw craving, you could say. I mean, I had been expecting this. It was inevitable. But I had to admit she was young. So I really _shouldn't_ have been thinking about her this way.But those eyes…

RENESMEE

_Abstinence?_ I thought, somehow disappointed. And I was no longer the innocent mama's baby I had been. It was inevitable that Mom would instruct me like this, but…I felt unsatisfied. Once my brother, as I turned to look, Jake was a very sexy new boyfriend. I had never seen anyone in this way before, and it would never be anyone but Jake I would see like this, I knew that for sure now.

I had to accept the rule. One day, though…it couldn't come fast enough. And though he never really showed his sexual tendency towards me, I could sense deep down that Jake couldn't bear the waiting either.

But I had to. I knew I could disobey my mother if I wanted to, and I had before—but I was really only thinking about my father. Yes, I still remembered him. I suppose the vampire in me gave me the excellent memory. And Jake had told me stories. In private, of course. My mother couldn't bear to.

But I knew by now that if my daddy knew I was having sex at such a young age, he would probably, in teen language, flip out. After all, if he hadn't knocked up my mother when they were still so young, and before she had been turned, I would never have been born. And of course, I was the reason my father had left. I couldn't blame him, not really, from the bottom of my heart. After all, who would want a half-monster?

Only Jacob. My Jacob. Because he was a half-monster of sorts too. And that's why we were perfect for each other.


	10. Chapter 9: Selfish

**A/N: Thanks to my fave writah evah!! Teehee KiwiCantDance that's you. My fan-friggin'-tabulous beta, o' course. **

**Please vote for this story in The Twilight Awards in the categories of ANGST/DRAMA and POST-BD! Yes, it will say by PeaceLoveTwilight, that's my penname on The link to vote is www.twilightawards./?pageid88. Thanks!!**

Rosalie and I had kept up with our communication over the years. It literally brightened my day, like a patch of sunlight on a cloudy day, when I received a letter from her - especially when I was particularly bored. Alice knew we were writing, too, so every once in a while Rose would relay a message to me from her. I pondered how they kept this a secret from Edward, as they had promised they would. They couldn't shield their thoughts from him forever.

But only at first, Rose assured me that Edward didn't spend too much time around the family anymore. She had said that he preferred to be alone in the wilderness to mope. I felt a little tug at my heartstrings as I read this, I wrote back asking why, exactly, he would be moping.

Her response:

_Dear Bella,_

_He's moping over you, silly. What else could he possibly mope about? Well, perhaps his daughter._

_But I know for a fact he is not over you yet, Bella. He spends all day and night __pining for you. It's becoming a bit irritating. I don't understand why he doesn't just come back._

_Anyway, the rest of us are doing very well. How about you? I assume Renesmee is growing as fast as ever even now that she's turned 2. Tell her happy birthday for me._

_Alice says hello!_

_Love, Rose_

But this just didn't make any sense! Why would Edward be upset over me if he was the one who had left me? I decided not to try and sort it all out. I would only befuddle myself further. Besides, Edward had no right to cry over me anymore. He was such a teasing bastard. He couldn't do that. _It wasn't fair_.

_Dear Rose,_

_I can't comprehend why he would be doing such a thing. After all, I didn't  
do anything to him. His moping...It's all his fault. In fact, you know  
what I think of him? I think  
_  
I stopped. What did I think? Did I really know? Was I sure that he was the  
most terrible person I'd ever met? I decided: he had broken my heart. He  
didn't deserve to mope.  
_  
I think my heart isn't big enough to break anymore. I loved him once, but  
that love was never returned; he never returned it. He never loved me,  
Rose. Tell him to stop being so goddamn selfish! That's what his moping is,  
it's selfish._

I looked at what I had written and grimaced. Even Rosalie wouldn't like hearing about her brother this way. I was about to crumple it up and throw it out when I looked at it again. No, this would do. Rose needed to understand how I felt, and the only way to communicate it with her would have to be with strong language.

_Sorry. I honestly feel this way, though, Rose, and there's really nothing he can do to change that. I'm stubborn, remember? Heh, thanks anyway. Renesmee is great, growing just as rapidly as always._

_Love, Bella_

When she replied, she didn't even mention Edward. It was so great of her, as a sister and as a friend. She seemed to really understand how I felt, I guess. So she never mentioned it again. At least, not for a few years…


	11. Chapter 10: Shadows

**A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta, KiwiCantDance, for her support and for making this chapter as effing perfect as I'm gonna get!! Please vote for this story in The Twilight Awards in the categories of ANGST/DRAMA and POST-BD! Yes, it will say by PeaceLoveTwilight, that's my penname on The link to vote is www.twilightawards./?pageid88. Thanks!! If you vote for me and let me know that you did thru PM or review, I'll put your name in the credits of the next chapter and in my profile.  
**

There was a period of time I afterwards referred to as my "Shadow Period", during these few months it seemed as though I was living in the past. I would always find shadows, nostalgic memoirs of my life before Renesmee. In particular, I saw Edward in every little forsaken, admittedly beautiful detail.

Sometimes Jacob or my daughter would catch me staring at what seemed like nothing or air to them, but it was everything to me for hours on end. I might have seen the exact shade of Edward's hair in the sunlight, and then lost it; or thought I heard Claire De Lune playing somewhere off in the distance when it turned out to only be the wind, an annoying background noise that made my mind wander.

Of course the both knew something was wrong, they just couldn't figure out what that something was.

One day, over at our house, they had turned on some ballad and begun slow-dancing in the living room, just for the fun of it. The way they held each other made me remember the time when Edward had taken me to the alleged Forks High School prom, even though I never really wanted to.

It was so perfect, so _right_. His cold hands grasped my lower back, making me shiver in delight. His eyes catching mine, eliciting a blush from myself. We danced. He twirled me, he spun me, and I often heard him chuckling in loving amusement as I tripped over my own feet.

My hands would nervously grip unto his shoulders, but when he held me, it was right. He had the ability to make me relax. To assure myself of what I already knew: I was in good hands. Oh, the finale, for the finale…Edward leaned over my face and kissed me. I closed my eyes and was trapped inside a oh-so-welcomed delirium. He tasted like nothing I had ever tasted before, simply amazing. I slowly opened my eyes to meet his syrupy-golden gems, but—what?—this certainly was not Edward!

I gasped as recognition told me whose eyes I was staring into, "_Jacob_?" I collapsed to the floor in shock.

"Bella, Bella, are you alright?" he shook me, alarmed.

"I—I—" I got to my feet and looked around. I was no longer at the prom with Edward, I was just in my living room, "I just—I don't know."

"It's okay," he used his soothing voice, "I'm—we're here."

"Just a daydream," I sighed, "...Just a daydream." I lifted myself onto the couch and let out another breathy sigh, "I'm lost."

Renesmee hurried over to sit next to me. "Mom, are you sure you're okay?" Her eyes were filled with genuine concern.

"Dear, dear Renesmee." I smiled, "You're so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?"

She smiled back, and her eyes were wet, "Yes." It was only a whisper. She gave me a kiss on the cheek. With this I was lifted into another daydream; one of the happiest times in my life. The meadow…

Jake confronted me late at night, while Renesmee was in bed, "Bella, I just don't know. Are you _sure_ nothing's wrong?"

"I—" I stopped. I wasn't sure how to explain how I had suddenly become lost in the past, "I keep remembering—things."

He nodded sympathetically. I didn't have to say the name out loud for him to understand. "Why now, Bella?"

"I don't know. It just came upon me." I hung my head and shook my head at Jacob. He was silent. We both were. We couldn't think of anything to say. What was there to say, anyway?

"I see him—_everywhere_!" I cried out suddenly. I wanted desperately for Jacob to understand something I didn't understand myself.

He looked down, his brows tightly knit with worry. "It's okay, Bella. I'm sure you'll get over it somehow. You're _so_ strong, so strong."

"I thought I was over him," I laughed shakily, "I thought—" I couldn't continue.

"I thought you were too," he said, disappointed but gentle. Then he looked at me strangely, shook his head, and walked away.

That's when I saw Renesmee at the top of the stairs, watching, listening. Right then, seeing her there and me being here like this, it made me want to cry.


	12. Chapter 11: Suspicions and Secrets

**A/N: Thanks again to KiwiCantDance, the best beta a girl could have . Thanks also to Terry Tarhop, BlondieAKARobin, and everyone else who voted for me in the Twilight Awards! If you haven't yet, vote for this story in the categories of Angst/Drama and Post-BD. The link is in my profile. It'll say Acceptance by PeaceLoveTwilight, NOT CedwardPattinsonian because I have a different penname on . Thanks!**

Chapter 11: Suspicions and Secrets

It was decided; I would be taking a vacation to "ease my mind". Then maybe I wouldn't think of him, my mind could just drift, drift into indifference. Maybe, just maybe.

"Somewhere warm—" Jacob mused.

"But not too warm," I interrupted.

He gave a sad little chuckle and said thoughtfully, "Of course."

I glanced at him. He was slumped in his seat, his eyes half closed. I knew my "condition" was taking its toll on him. Or rather, _I_ was taking my toll on him. I couldn't deny anymore that it was solely my fault, I was acting as a burden to them both and they didn't deserve that. No one deserves that.

"Jake," I said suddenly. He looked at me from under his eyelashes. "I'm leaving today."

This sparked his attention. "So soon?" I noticed the surprise—and was that suspicion?—in his tone of voice.

"Yes, I'll pack up and leave. You won't have any more trouble from me," I promised solemnly.

"Okay," he spoke slowly, "Where to?"

I hadn't thought about that yet. "Uh—Argentina?" I named a place Rose had recommended for hunting in her last letter. The temperature seemed very comfortable too, perfect for relaxing.

Jacob frowned. But after a moment of seeing how cheered I had become, he brightened up and let excitement drip into his voice, "Sure, I'll book you a flight to Buenos Aires!"

I grinned, "Thanks, Jake! You're really the best, y'know? I'm feeling better already!"

He laughed, "Sure, sure." Then he began to dial up the airline.

I leaped up the stairs to tell Renesmee. I wasn't going to leave without a goodbye again, however short a trip this could be. Her door was closed. I was about to knock when I heard her speaking in hushed whispers to someone unfamiliar. I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I heard her say "my mother", and my curiosity got the best of me.

"Yeah, she's going crazy. She really needs some help." She was pleading with someone. Who would she be confiding in? As far as I knew, her closest friend was Jacob. She didn't talk of anyone else that often. Of course, she was the most beautiful girl in school and the nicest, too, so both the girls _and_ boys flocked to her in droves. But she never really connected with them. She had always told me it was 'weird' or 'awkward' for her.

"Oh, would you? You would do that for me? Thanks—"

I opened the door, not wanting to hear more. She stared at me guiltily. "Uh, gotta go," she said quickly into her cell phone before she flipped it shut and set it down on her desk.

"What is it, Mom?" she asked brightly, feigning innocence.

I sighed, "Sweetie—is it nosy of me to ask whom you were talking to?"

Renesmee fidgeted in her swivel chair. "Not at all, Mom. I was talking to Leah. She's—real easy to talk to about things, you know?"

I relaxed. "Girl talk, huh? That's nice that you and Leah can connect like that, I didn't even know you two were that close."

She smiled. "Yeah. Leah's one of my best friends." Then she changed the subject. "What did you come up to tell me, Mom?"

"Oh, uh—I'm leaving. Just for a short time! But leaving all the same," I told her ruefully, the last part anyway.

I saw no traces of real shock on her face. She seemed...glad. Not mad or sad, Renesmee was all about 'Get Glad!' at the moment. Her voice expressed what was written all over her face: "Well, that's great, Mom! You'll have a chance to recover."

My eyes widened slightly as she said this to me. It hurt, a bit, to hear that she wanted me gone, but I reminded myself that she meant well.

"Yep," I replied in the same tone she had just used.

Her phone vibrated, and after reading a text message, she began to type what I presumed was a reply, humming quietly to herself as she did so.

"Who're you texting?" I inquired.

She looked up, flushed. "Uh, just L-Leah," she stammered, and then looked down again intently.

I raised my eyebrows. It seemed awfully suspicious to me. I rarely saw her texting or talking to anyone on the phone. What had struck this sudden friendship between my daughter and Leah? I thought hard.

As I was leaving the room, in the corner of my eye I noticed Renesmee looking up at me quickly. It was then I finally realized she wasn't texting Leah at all. She was hiding something from me. Some_one_.


	13. Chapter 12: Leaving

A/N: Here y'are

**A/N: Here y'are! Chaptah 12. This one's a bit longer, so be happy! **

**Thanks again to my fantab beta, KiwiCantDance. **

**Also, thanks to everyone who already voted for me in the Twilight Awards. (Terry, Blondie, etc.) Lurve ya! If you haven't already, you can vote for Acceptance (It will say by PeaceLoveTwilight) in the categories of Angst/Drama and Post-BD at ****www.twilightawards./?pageid88**

**Enjoy! **

Chapter 12: Leaving

Dismissing all misgivings, I successfully packed a suitcase and made my flight plans in less than half an hour. I took a healthy plethora of clothes, some money, and my cell phone, that's all I thought I would need.

"I can drop you off at the airport if you'd like," Jacob offered as he watched me zip up my suitcase.

I sighed and answered without looking at him, "You don't have to go to the trouble when I can run just as easily."

"But you can't let everyone see that," he protested, "You have to blend in."

I heaved a sigh again. Truth was, I was afraid of leaving. It was so comfortable and easy here, where everything was familiar, it was my comfort zone. I hadn't been alone with me, myself, and I for more than a day in quite a while. What would happen when I was without the two people who cared for me and vice versa? Now, I loved them more than anything else in the world, everything in the world put together. l

I grew slightly hysterical. What if isolation wasn't the best idea? Oh, I'm second-guessing myself...if I thought I was going crazy now...

"Bella…?" He rest a hand on my shoulder, I didn't budge. No recognition. "Bella!" Recognition confirmed, "Are you—" I turned to face Jacob.

"You may drive me," I told him firmly, somewhat formally, stopping him mid-sentence and making up my mind. I couldn't falter now. This trip would save me, or it wouldn't. If it didn't save me, at least it would be better for everyone else.

"Good." A stretchy smile broke out on his face and he told with strong conviction, "Bells, this is going to help you. I can feel it. I know it. Soon, you'll be in great spirits."

I tried to grin back, but despairing images of 'suicidal me' flashed through my head and I shuddered involuntarily.

Jake stared at me with visible concern. He barely opened his mouth to voice his concern, "You okay?" His eyes darted away from my face and back again.

"Yeah, yeah." I shook it off. "Let's go."

He blinked then shrugged. "Renesmee!" he called.

"Yeah?" I heard her bored voice respond from her room upstairs.

"Your mother and I are about to leave for the airport. Are you coming?"

There was no spoken reply, but I heard her soft footsteps heading toward us. When she reached us in the living room, she was sullen, and silent.

"Do you want to ride along with us, hon'?" I asked her.

A shrug. "Not really."

"Is something wrong?" Renesmee was usually cheery and bright. What was going on with her today?

A head shake. "I'm fine. I'll—I'll miss you, Mom."

"Oh, sweetie, is that it?" I pulled into my arms and hugged her tight to my chest. "I'll be back soon. You'll have lots of fun with Jake while I'm gone."

She gave me a quick glance, then looked down and nodded. I gave her a kiss on the cheek, and later waved my goodbye when Jacob and I had gotten into the car. These were my good-bye's. My daughter waved back with an odd little smile.

"What was that all about?" I let my head fall back against the head rest and my eyes drifted closed.

"What was what all about?"

"Well, first off, the way you and Renesmee are speaking to each other. You haven't called her Renesmee since she was born; it's always the damn comparison to the Loch Ness Monster." I feigned nonchalance with my tone, but my words spoke a whole other story.

He didn't smile, but kept his eyes on the road ahead of him. "Yeah, she's being weird all of a sudden, like we're no longer connected." My eyes tore open.

"What? You mean the imprint is—" Bye-bye nonchalance.

"It has nothing to do with the imprint," he interrupted loudly, booming, "It's just—I don't know. It's like she doesn't trust me anymore, or doesn't care for me anymore." He seemed frustrated, and I could understand why. I was more than frustrated when the one I loved didn't love me anymore.

Damn Edward, always interrupting my thoughts to show me his pretty little face.

"That's terrible," I focused on Jacob, banishing Edward from my head.

"Mm…"

"You know, she has been acting strange lately," I said after a moment, as an after-thought, "Today, I popped into her room and she was talking to some person she claimed was Leah. The thing is, she was flustered and I heard her talking about me before I stepped into the room."

"Huh."

"I think—I think she was talking to some kind of shrink or something. About me. About—well, how I've been lately," I blurted out.

Jake looked at me. "Really…? You think she would go that far?"

My eyes drifted closed once again. "I would hope not. I'm not in that bad of a condition, am I?"

His mouth twitched. "No—of course not!"

I popped one squinted eye open and we looked at each other for a moment, and then burst into spontaneous laughter.

"Bells," he paused, but smiled, "why do you think you're going on this trip?"

I rolled my eyes. "I know, I know. I guess it's just a little scary for me right now. To look in the mirror and not know yourself anymore? It's a living hell. I am forever grateful for this trip, Jacob. It will be good for me, if lonely."

He put his arm around me as we reached the airport. "I know it will, Bella. I know it will."

After long goodbyes and a pass through security, I boarded my flight to Buenos Aires. When a man sat in the seat next to me, I realized that I hadn't remembered to hunt before leaving; it wasn't as easy for me to resist his blood. I used to be stronger. When I was in my happy stage, I could resist the pull without hunting for weeks, up to a month. But now, I was tired of the world and my brain probably wasn't functioning properly, it's like I'm human Bella with the dysfunctional brain that he couldn't read. This was going to prove to be...difficult.

The man leaned toward me, scalding my throat and mouth with a ferocious burning sensation. "Er, hello, I'm Tom."

"Hi. I'm Isabella." I was limiting my sentences, while also limiting my breaths.

He smiled. "Nice to meet you, Isabella,"

"You too," I responded with a weak smile of my own, being conscious of my teeth.

I slipped a magazine from out of the pocket of the back of the seat in front of me and began reading. This was good, he couldn't bother me any more; my lungs couldn't take another word.

He was silent for the rest of the flight. But after the long wait, as we were rising from our seats and leaving the plane, he whispered in my direction, "You're very pretty, little girl. Care to come along with me? My wife will never know." His hand drifted toward my thigh, but I flinched away. Careful not to make eye-contact or skin-contact, I flew past him and shuffled off the plane to get to the luggage check.

After locating and picking up my small suitcase, I went outside and called a taxi with a wave of my hand. I got a ride in no time, I climbed in and silently handed the driver the address of the villa I would be staying in. It was Rosalie and Emmett's, actually; she had told me I was free to use it at any time. I thought: why not take up this offer? So I did.

After a long ride, the driver stopped at a secluded, obviously pricey, white building with many windows. It was surrounded by jungle on all sides, this 'too green' I was fine with. It was, Perfect! I paid generously, and for dramatic effect, I stepped out of the cab one leg at a time and closed the door behind me without giving it so much as a look. My eyes were glued to scene. The car drove away and I took my first steps toward my new temporary home with its two stories, many rooms, and Victorian style roofing and columns. I smiled, but the smile turned upside-down when my vision caught onto to something.

I could see a large shadow moving in the house, behind the windows. Was someone breaking in?


	14. Chapter 13: Disquieted

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry this took so long. I've been waiting for my beta to take care of it but she hasn't, and I feel you deserve to read this chapter, no matter how horribly written it may be.**

**Major Announcement! After this chapter, this (and all other) stories will be on HIATUS! I am participating in NaNoWriMo (), and when you're trying to write a 50,000 word novel in a month, it's pretty hard to write fanfiction on the side. I WILL continue this in December, though, so keep an eye out for updates then!**

**If my beta ever gets back to me I will add the revisions to this chapter. =]**

Chapter 13: Disquieted

I paced frantically in front of the villa, continually having to remind myself that I was an indestructible vampire. No man on the planet could possibly harm me in the slightest. _Except another vampire…_

I didn't quite know why I had the feeling that no ordinary human was lurking in there. It was the most eerie sensation. Almost a sort of déjà vu, or reminiscence. Like there was someone in there I had met before.

I shook, trying to rid myself of the shudders that rippled my arched back. I had automatically gone into hunting mode. A harsh snarl escaped my lips. I steadied myself. _Relax, Bella, it's just a common burglar. We'll walk in there, scare him away, and be done with it. Right?_ Right.

I took a deep breath and marched up to the door. I punched in the code that Rose had given me on the keypad, and strode in. It was unnaturally silent. "Hello?" I called softly. "Hello?" I called again, louder. My voice echoed off the walls. I inhaled. The scent of the air was distinctly vampire. This was to be expected, of course, seeing as the villa belonged to Rose and Emmett. But—the scent was fairly fresh. It wasn't strong enough to suggest that whoever it was still remained here, but I could sense that he or she had just left. Alas, I could not distinguish who it was.

I sat down on a large white couch in the living room. It was terrifying to think about. What vampire would break into here? It definitely was no ordinary vampire. Perhaps…enemies of Em and Rose? My thoughts whirled endlessly. I finally decided to call Jake and Renesmee. Perhaps they would have a suggestion.

"Hello?" My daughter answered the phone.

"Hi, sweetie. Is Jacob there?"

"No." She yawned. "He's on an errand or something."

I groaned internally. _Perfect timing, Jake, perfect timing._ "Okay, hon'. I guess I'll explain the situation to you, then."

"Kay," she grunted, bored.

"Alright, so, when I arrived here, there was someone in the villa. A-a vampire."

"What?!" she was suddenly alert. "Did you see them?"

"No, no," I soothed. "Don't worry. I only saw their shadow. But I could smell them when I came in."

"Oh." She was sullen again.

"So—I just wanted to know what you and Jake think. What do you suggest I do?"

"Don't worry about it," she said quickly. "Just go hunt or something. It'll relax you."

I sighed. "Okay. You sure?"

"Yeah."

"'Kay, tell Jake I called, alright? Make sure he calls me."

"Sure, sure." And she hung up.

I sighed. Renesmee really _was_ different these days. She was so much more distant from me. And from Jake, too, apparently. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her head…

After rapidly unpacking my small suitcase, I decided to take a look around the place before I went hunting. The living room was the epitome of luxury. There were several large couches, loveseats, and chairs. The carpeting that covered the floor of the entire house was a fluffy white. There were two huge shelves of books on every subject. The TV's in the living room and in my room were flat screens that seemed to consume the entire wall they were hung on. The kitchen was, of course, stocked with every kind of non-perishable you could imagine. The clearly expensive fridge, stove, and dishwasher were perfectly pristine.

My room was Rose and Em's guest room. In it, there was the TV, a beautiful handcrafted wooden dresser, and a bed with soft green sheets. On the nightstand next to the bed, there was a lovely brown vase with bright yellow flowers. The walls matched the bed with a forest-y color. If it wasn't for the silver space-stealer known as a television, the room would feel completely earthy. The color scheme was a natural one. I wondered what Rose and Emmett's room would be like, so I went down the hall and opened the door.

The first thing I saw was the gigantic bed with silky blue sheets. It took up half of the space. I nearly laughed out loud; of course I knew why it was so big. On the other side of the room was another shelf, with a full stock of books, movies, and CD's. Somehow I doubted that they used any of it in their time here, so I looked closer and stifled a giggle. Most of the books looked like hardcore porn and the same was true of the NC-17 rated movies.

The walls were pink, clearly Rosalie's choice of color. Hung on the walls were several pictures of Rose and Em together, laughing, having fun. I was glad none of them were of a sexual nature, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking of Edward. These pictures could have been of us. I reminded myself that they'd never be.

I walked out of the room and further down the hall. There was another guest room. I wondered why they had two guest rooms and went to look inside. There was another extremely large bed and TV. There were a few pieces of artwork on the lovely blue walls. I recalled how Edward had loved this precise color on me and had to shake myself of the thoughts. As I looked around again, something struck me as odd. The paintings on the walls were slightly askew by the smallest degree. A human certainly wouldn't notice, but for me it was a ghastly sight. Surely Rose would have fixed this? I grew enormously uneasy and paced around.

I then saw that the bed was tilted too. How could that be? Everything in the room was off by a smidgen and it was killing me. I picked up the roses next to the bed and realized that they were very much alive. They were not wilted in the least. Whoever had been in the house before had, for some strange reason, left these flowers here.


	15. Chapter 14: Shock and Surprise

Hey all! Sorry this took so long, as you know I was doing NaNo in November. Hope you enjoy this one because it's one of my favorites!

Chapter 14: Shock and Surprise

I whirled around, feeling dizzy. After taking one last look around the tilted room, I stepped out and slammed the door shut. I massaged my temples with my thumbs, as if that could help my inhuman headache. After more useless rubbing, I threw my hands at my sides and sighed heavily. I knew that even if I _was_ human, the pounding in my head would not simply go away. The headache wasn't simply due to the cursed, mysterious slant of Rose and Em's room. However hard it was for me to admit it, I was afraid.

Who would have just come into the house in order to tilt the furniture and supply me with fresh flowers? I decided that the "burglar" who had been there earlier must have been in this room. Perhaps he or she had been looking for something valuable in Rose and Em's room, and seeing me coming, fled. That would have messed up the angle of the furniture for sure, although it certainly didn't explain the flowers.

I knew the culprit wasn't human by the sweet, perfume-y scent it had left in the air. The mystery man (or woman) was definitely a vampire. Perhaps they had wanted to leave a "present" for me to show that they had been there. I had never understood how the criminal mind worked, and I never would.

I took some deep breaths to calm myself, but all that seemed to accomplish was to flood my hollow lungs with warm, uncomfortable air. I exhaled shakily one more time, then turned on my heel and strode out of the villa. Greenery and woods surrounded it; it would be easy for me to hunt undetected by meddlesome humans.

I gently shut the white, wooden door behind me, slipped off my shoes, and padded slowly out on the grassy "lawn" until I reached the edge of the dense forest. I looked one more time at the beautiful, frightening villa I was staying in. And then I ran.

I didn't know what type of fare to expect here, but I had smelled something tasty and I wanted it. I sensed that it was relatively far away, and attempted to move my already blurring legs faster. I sped through the leafy, moist trees, past all types of creatures and foliage. But I wanted what I was after and I wanted it now. No other animal's scent appealed to my sensitive nose in the least but the one I was after. Whatever it was must have been native to the area; I had never smelled anything so appallingly delicious.

It was rich and heady, the butter-loaded double chocolate cake of animal blood. Racing toward the aroma was exhilarating but also slightly tormenting. I lusted for it more than anything I had ever desired in my life, yet I knew that no matter what it was, I needed it so badly that it would be dead and devoured in seconds, leaving me with no remainder but a full stomach. It would have to suffice. Perhaps afterwards I would be able to find more of its species hiding around here somewhere.

I was getting nearer. I could feel it. Anytime now, I would have a few (sparse) moments to be utterly happy, feasting on the animal of my dreams. I rushed through several more silly obstructions of plants and trees, and could hardly feel the soft, moist earth under my bare feet. Finally, I ducked my head under a low branch and knew I was coming to my destination. I tried to prepare myself and slow my rushing limbs down, but it was difficult. My senses were in overdrive.

I raised my head and forced with all my might my legs to stop running, to see that I was in a small clearing. On the far edge of this meadow was—a person?—hunched over what I knew to be the animal I was looking for, although I still couldn't make out what that animal was. The man's tense back was turned and he seemed not to notice me at first. I knew he was a vampire; who else would be feasting on a wild animal in a forest? I tried to creep as quietly as I could up behind him. It was hard to do; the meal I desired was so close and inviting. Its scent clogged up my throat with bloodlust and I had to hold my nose to prevent myself from running all out. I would stop at no lengths to obtain that mouth-watering delicacy the vamp was handling, if I had to swipe it from him. Somewhere I knew in the corner of my brain that my thinking had been lost, and I was relying on pure instinct now. On no normal day would I steal another vampire's meal if given an opportunity, unless I wished suicide.

I was only two feet from the male vampire when I noticed the muscles on his neck tensing. I knew he had noticed my presence and was now turning his head slowly. A familiar, yet pleasant odor that I couldn't quite place overwhelmed my superhuman nostrils. The smell overpowered even my desire for the animal I was creeping towards. I stopped dead in my tracks to try to figure out what that bizarre fragrance was, to no avail. It was unnecessary, though, for the man had turned his entire head so I could see his face as clear as could be. Our eyes—his and mine—widened, as I recognized the coal-black irises and godly features of Edward Cullen.


	16. Chapter 15: Meanwhile

Whoaa...fast, long chapter! I powerwrote for you guys. It's not what you're expecting, for sure, but I just HAD to prolong the suspense. MWAHAHAHA! Hope you enjoy because I had lots of fun writing this one. Huge collaboration has been okayed by 9 other authors! Coming soon so keep an eye out!

Chapter 15: Meanwhile…

Renesmee POV

I sat in my room, worrying my ass off. Mom could have found out about Operation Edward! She nearly had, at least. She had called me only ten minutes ago. I had probably sounded pissy on the phone, but I couldn't help it if I was annoyed at Rose for messing everything up. I never meant to be rude to my mother. I loved her more than anything in the world, even my Jacob. Of course, I never intended to tell either of them that.

I had already been a little grumpy before Mom had phoned. Jacob was gone. I had lied to my momma, saying that he was out on errands, but where he really was? That was a different story.

"Ness," he had almost pleaded, "Do you understand? Don't take this the wrong way. I love you and I always have. I always will, for God's sake! I just think a little time alone will do me good."

I had been tempted to spit right on his holy head. What the hell did he mean by "time alone would do him good"? It was like a bad breakup line from a romantic comedy. Comedy was right. He could go fuck himself if he thought he was doing us both a favor by staying _away_ from me. I mean, if he really loved me, why wouldn't he want to be around me? Jeez, it was like he was having his own man-PMS. "Get over it, bitch" was what I had wanted to say when he announced he was leaving. But no, all of a sudden my mouth had to dry up and a stupid lump had to appear in my throat, making it impossible for me to choke out a single word. Okay, maybe I did manage to get out one word after Jake shut the door and ran away, and the saliva had returned to my parched mouth, and the lump in my throat had dissolved. But by then it was too late to do any good. "Fuck."

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Jacob POV

Today had not turned out as planned. I had left my baby, my beautiful, lovely Renesmee. The smart half of my brain had told me to leave and get on with it. I did know how to listen to my smart side sometimes. But the other, instinctual half had wanted so desperately for Ness to ban my departure. Part of me had expected, _desired_ her to scream for me and pull me back into the house, begging me not to leave her and smashing her lips onto mine. But she hadn't. She hadn't even spoken when I told her I had to leave. I didn't know how I had even gotten the words past my lips; there had been a huge lump in my throat that just didn't want me to say the fatal words. No, Nessie had simply stood there in hall, watching, unmoving, as I shut the door. I brought myself to look at her through the window before I ran, and regretted it. She had been standing there, frozen, looking absolutely lost and confused as to what had just happened.

Although I knew I most likely wouldn't be gone for more than a few days—I couldn't stay apart from my girl for _that_ long—I was already having qualms. I had left for a reason, but that reason suddenly didn't make sense anymore. So what if she'd been crabby lately? That was part of life. I was being stupid. What if, when I tried explaining why I had to leave, Ness decided she didn't want me anymore? After all, if my reasoning now sounded silly even to myself, it would surely sound more preposterous to her.

I banged my fist on the tree stump I was sitting on. I must have looked ridiculous, but I was so helpless at this moment that I felt the need to somehow prove I wasn't always so pathetic. To whom, I wasn't sure. All of a sudden I felt the urge to cuss the world out. Why was everything so damn complicated? "Fuck!" I snarled. "Fuck everyone! Fuck me! Shit! Shit! Shit!" I kicked the stump and let out another long stream of curses. "Fuck you too!"

I heard a high-pitched giggle from out of nowhere and I spun around, searching around cautiously for the source of the noise. Then I heard her, stepping out from the trees. "I'm right here, Jake," she said quietly from behind me. I turned to see the girl I loved watching me in silent amusement. My immediate reaction was to flush cranberry red. Ness had surely heard my little scene, and it was embarrassing as hell, quite frankly.

"Erm, I assume you heard my—uh—"

"Yes," she replied smoothly, almost nonchalantly. It amazed me how cool and yet sexy that girl could be. She would be the death of me someday.

"So, um—" I swallowed hard. "Good to see you?" It came out as a question. It wasn't supposed to. "Um, I mean—"

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was mildly amused. "Speechless?"

I flushed red once again. The embarrassment of blood rushing to my cheeks frequently like a teenage girl's was quickly becoming a bad habit. "Well, I just—I've missed you," I had to blurt out.

She crossed her arms, an unwelcome, teasing smile creeping onto her beautiful face. "Oh?"

I couldn't help it. I had to tell her. The words flew from my mouth unintentionally. "I love you, Ness! I love you more than anything else in the world! And I know you feel the same about me, and it's wonderful!" I blushed again at this cheesy statement. I wasn't holding anything back today, it seemed.

Her eyes widened in surprise, and I saw something else in her eyes that I couldn't quite place. A cross between regret and fear, I could guess. Then she smiled brightly and I believed all was forgiven. Her voice shook a little, though, as she asked, "Are you sure about that?"

I was taken aback, but assumed she just wanted to be sure that my passions weren't false, as if they could ever be directed toward anyone else. "Well, yes! Of course I'm sure. I love you, Nessie; it's not hard to understand. I love you just as much, if not more than you love me. Can't you just accept that?" I was growing frustrated with her increasingly worried expression.

"The only problem is," she began softly, "You might just love me more than—more than I love you." She spat this last part out hurriedly, as if it might dirty her mouth.

I frowned. This wasn't what was supposed to happen to couples in love. She was supposed to protest that she, in fact, loved me more than I loved her. This wasn't normal. What exactly did she mean? That my imprint didn't affect her as much as it had me? "Ness," I whispered, "what are you talking about?"

She looked down guiltily. "I—I must admit—I—" She twisted her hands together nervously. "I—I do love someone more than you."

My eyes widened in horror. She was…cheating on me?

She must have noticed the look of dismay clearly plastered and frozen on my face, because, as if reading my mind, she assured me, "No, no! It's not what you're thinking!" I relaxed. "I meant—well—" she hedged. "I do love my mother—Bella—more than I love you. I mean, I would rather you die than she. I would rather you unhappy than she. I—I—" A heart-wrenching sob shook her chest. "I'm sorry."

I thought that this was a bit harsh. I mean, saying that she would rather I die than her mother? Perfectly reasonable, but I didn't need to hear it out loud. However, I had already known she shared a special bond with her mother. Most daughters did, yet only realized how strong the bond was once they matured. Did this mean my Nessie had matured? "Ness," I laughed incredulously, "that's completely normal! I don't mind. In fact, I'm glad that you love your mother so much. Most girls your age don't realize the strength of that bond until much later in their life." I recited this proudly. Ever since my mom had died, I had studied child-mother relationships intensely, until I could realistically imagine having a mother alive today.

She sighed in relief and then gave me a sly glance. I knew she knew we both knew she was no ordinary teenage girl. And I believed she was nearing an adult level of maturity.

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Renesmee POV

Jacob and I sat on that old tree stump quietly, contemplating our relationship (or, at least, I know I was). Then, out of the blue, Jacob asked, "So why have you been so pissy lately?" His voice echoed around the forest, bouncing off trees and interrupting the peaceful silence I had been enjoying.

I squinted at him. "You haven't figured it out yet?"

He shook his head and stared at me curiously, obviously expecting a good answer. I explained Operation Edward, details and all. His eyes grew bigger and bigger with every word. When I finished, weary and out of breath, those gorgeous brown eyes were shining—with tears! I had never seen Jake cry or blush before, and now I had caused him to do both in one day. I think he realized that I didn't care if he cried or humiliated himself, I would still love him. Something was changing in both of us.

"Jake?" I asked, rubbing his back gently with the palm of my hand. "What is it?"

He wiped the saltwater away hastily. "Oh, Ness—you're a miracle. Doing that for your mother—I was wrong to leave. You're the nicest person alive." His voice broke. "I love you." His voice was husky this time, and I saw him stare at me in newfound wonder.

I suddenly began to notice the crevices and tight muscles on his tanned chest. A bulge was clearly visible beneath his thin, faded pants. I knew he was carefully observing my assets too; I hadn't had the time and concern to strap on a bra before rushing to find him, and a bout of rain I had encountered had soaked through my silky camisole. I was wearing a pair of worn, ripped low-rider jeans that revealed my hot pink underwear and bare legs in small flaky patches. The jeans were also small on me, and they hugged my hips and thighs, accentuating my small but decent butt. I subconsciously flipped my hair over my shoulder demurely so that it covered half of my face. I knew it smelled like peach-strawberry; I had washed it this morning.

I watched him sniff it up with satisfaction and eye me hungrily. Lust for him, _all_ of him, began to overcome my entire being, destroying any basic practicalities and common sense I had left. Jake and I reached for each other at the same time, our hands outstretched and fingers extended.

"You ready?" my Jacob asked, already knowing I wanted it just as bad as he did.

I grinned deviously and moved closer to him, positioning myself so that I was nearly on top of him, nodding slowly and blinking expectantly as I did so.

With a bright smile and zero hesitation, he leaned over me and began to slide the skinny straps of my camisole down my suddenly hot, tingling shoulders. As he lingered his soft, warm hands over my C-cups—I could have sworn they had grown a size larger in that moment—and proceeded to undo the rest of me, I laid my head in his lap. I could feel his erection straining his pants as I unbuttoned them as quickly as I could. I was too late. As I was about to slide the pants down from Jake's hips, his cock ripped through the obviously old material. We both stared open-mouthed, then Jake gave me a hearty kiss on the lips and I laughed happily, resuming my "work." After all, what else could I expect from a werewolf, who had ripped through dozens of outfits without even the intention to do so?

When we were both free of any clothing whatsoever, Jake and I stared at each other for a minute, just enjoying the view. Then our eyes met. He was nervous, as was I. But he was also tearful. I knew he had been dreaming of this day for a while now, and was thrilled that we'd made it here. I was just happy to be with him, and happier that we were about to truly be bonded. I gave my love one more admiring look, and then I pounced.

This was the day I had utilized my tongue and lips more than I ever had before. It was the day I lost my virginity. And it was the day that something inside of Jake and I changed; something snapped in our brains and made us realize ourselves. That day made us realize our overwhelming love for each other. That was the day I grew up.


	17. The Fury of a Twice Broken Heart

**A/N: Hello all!**

**I apologize for how long this has taken. But--I am very satisfied with how this chapter turned out and I hope you will be as well.**

**Please take the time to review, guys, especially if you like it. The more encouragement and constructive criticism I get, the faster a new chapter will pop out of the oven!**

**Enjoy.**

Chapter 16: The Fury of a Twice-Broken Heart

**Bella's POV**

We stared at each other for breathless moments that felt like hours. Neither of us dared to break the shocked gaze we had locked on one another with a breath, a blink, or a word.

I wasn't sure if I was glad or horrified that he was here. Either way, I was astonished. I had so many questions, but I couldn't make my mouth move to form the words.

My entire body was frozen, as if I was a stupid, clumsy ice cube. If I possibly managed to move, I knew I would do something humiliating like fall over. I was uncoordinated, teenage Bella all over again.

My limbs were rigid and my fingers were tight and unmoving. All I could do was stand there openmouthed, struggling to break the tense silence and failing.

It had been too long for a thirsty vampire, although it had only been minutes. Too much silent time had passed for me to ignore the meal that I knew Edward was hiding behind his back.

It was tempting my teeth, my tongue, and my nostrils, my throat, my stomach, and my intestines. Even my fingers and toes and hair and eyeballs longed for that animal. It took every ounce of willpower and decency I had in me to fight off the too-eager desire.

I could see it in his eyes too: the longing for its blood. He was holding the animal in his bare hands, how could he stand it? Couldn't he feel its pulse thumping noisily under his touch, the blood calling his name?

I could hear it singing to me. _Bella!_ Its force was irresistible, as if it were a huge magnet and I metallic. I would have reached to snatch it right then and there, had its whimper not startled me.

Edward gave me a—frightened?—glance. Then he turned toward it sharply, and from what I could see, hit it firmly to knock it out. He turned back around; still hiding whatever it was behind him with a sheepish, apologetic grin.

"I do beg your pardon," he drawled in that smooth, rich voice of his, with a smile I knew was false. At least, I hoped it was. Did he think this was a joke? _What was he doing here?_ His apology seemed to suggest a certain politeness, as if he had only just met me. It was infuriating. Didn't he remember his old lover, whom he'd supposedly been mourning for? I knew I shouldn't care, but I wanted him to.

Well, two could play at that game. "Oh, no problem at all," I laughed carelessly. I squinted at him as if recalling a lost memory. "You look familiar, have we met before?"

He stared at me. _That'll make him think twice._ "Um—" He ran his hands nervously through his already-mussed hair. "—You look familiar too. Perhaps we have." He raised an eyebrow.

I smiled icily. "I'm Isabella. Nice to meet you."

He grinned shakily and offered his hand. "Edward." I looked at his hand and acted the part of disgust. How I wanted to touch him again! But I held myself back. I had gained some strength over the past few years he'd been gone.

Edward dropped his head and emitted a barely-audible sigh, even to my superhuman ears. I felt a small twinge of guilt. I knew he did know perfectly well who I was. But why was he pretending not to?

He lifted his head slowly. "Isabella…you're a stunning girl." He tried to smile, but only succeeded in looking pained.

"Er—thank you?" I replied. What was he up to?

He sucked air through his teeth. "Bella…" His gaze contained an unbearably fiery longing that made me want to do two things: curl up in the safety of his chest, and run away.

But instead, my eyes narrowed. He _did_ know me. And, no doubt, he was about to beg for my heart again. "Edward." The word was curt and bitter.

He gave me a sad little smile. It disgusted me. He seemed to be wallowing in self-pity. "If you only knew how lonely I've been…" Edward sank down to his knees, still keeping a quivering hand on the animal behind him. "…Without you." He gave me a pleading look.

I glared and attempted to keep my voice steady. "Oh, so you want me back now? _For the third time_?"

"Bella," he pleaded, "I never meant to hurt you."

That's what made me snap. I was suddenly on my feet, yelling. "_Hurt me_? You think you _hurt me_? Oh, no." I leaned in close to him, and positioned my mouth above my ear, as if about to tell him a secret. Then I whispered loudly, "You _destroyed_ me."

He fell back in shock, on top of his meal. It gave out another soft squeal but he muffled the sound. "No, Bella, no! You have it wrong!" There was a horrified look in his eyes.

I was sure my own eyes were as crazed as I was feeling. I was dizzy and uncomfortably exhilarated. "You…_destroyed_ me!" I screamed again, only now realizing exactly how badly I had been affected. I heard my voice ricochet noisily off the trees and echo back to our ears and whimpered reflexively.

Edward sat there, stunned. His eyes were shut tightly and his fingers clenched into fists. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably. It took me a moment to realize what was happening: Edward Cullen was crying in the only way vampires could.

I had seen Esme do it before, and I had also experienced the feeling. It was so terribly painful. In your sobbing you had a desperate wish to be human again, so that the tears you just couldn't force out of your granite eyes would come then, easy and wet. You wanted your emotions to flood out of your body. It was the only real way to rid yourself of them, to ease the pain and sorrow. The only way to get over it.

Seeing him doubled up this way, and knowing what it felt like, I felt an overwhelming rush of unwanted sympathy flooding through my body, from the tips of my toes to the top of my bowed head. I almost apologized.

Instead, I restrained my empathy and laughed humorlessly. "You enjoyed it, didn't you." It wasn't a question. "All of it."

Edward was puzzled. His shoulders stopped shuddering and he looked up. "Enjoyed what, Bella?"

"What you did to me," I said flatly. "Seeing me crawl after you, hearing me pledge my love to you. Tricking me into wanting you, loving you, _needing_ you." He tried to interrupt, but I continued. "You were like a drug to me, Edward. Remember, that day in the meadow? You said I was like your brand of heroin. You had it wrong. You were _my_ heroin; you were my mind, body, and soul. I needed you, Edward. And after all that, after all we'd been through, you left me. The first time, it was so easy to forgive you. More than easy. I barely considered the enormous pain you had put me through. Do you know why?"

"Because you loved me," Edward almost sobbed, "And I love you, Bella. I told you how much that hurt me as well! I didn't know then that my leaving you could have proved so painful for you! I never, _ever_ enjoyed it! Please, Bella—"

I held up a hand. "And, no matter how much you say you loved me, you left me yet again. Even after seeing what you put me through the first time." I shook my head mutely. There was no more to say.

"Bella, I love you! Don't you feel anything towards me?" Edward's eyes pleaded with me. I felt the tiniest bit of satisfaction, seeing him desperate for my acceptance of him, as I had always been for him. The irony was bittersweet.

"This isn't a question of loving you, Edward," I sighed. "Because even if I did, I still would never forgive you."

He paled, if such a thing was possible for a vampire. Yet his expression was grudgingly accepting. "My hopes shouldn't have been so high. I understand, Bella. I don't deserve you." His eyes lingered wonderingly over my face one more time, and then he turned away to his meal. I was glad; I wouldn't have been able to take much more of this conversation.

"Could—" My lips trembled. "Could I have some of that?" Now that Edward was no longer distracting me, the scent of his animal had become even more unbelievably tempting. I had never been so drawn to the blood of any creature, even a human, before. I subconsciously edged closer.

Edward turned his head sharply and shielded his dinner from me. "I don't think you want to." His cautionary smile didn't reach his eyes.

I frowned and forgot my previous quarrel with him for a moment. "Why not?"

His eyes darted nervously and he swallowed hard. Then he slowly backed away from the beast he was so eager to hide from me.

I nearly went into shock for the second time that day when I saw what Edward had been planning to feed on. There, cowering and quavering in fear, was a young male. A teenage human boy.


	18. Chapter 17: Il Mio Cantante

**A/N: Hope you like this one. I'm happy with it. :) Keep reviewing, I thrive on feedback!**

Chapter 17: Il Mio Cantante

"I can explain," Edward said quickly when I stared at him in accusation.

I found it hard to pay attention to what he was saying, however. The frightened boy's blood seemed to have been made for me. I could hear it pumping through his veins, coursing quickly, fueling him, warming him. My mouth opened and I could have drooled, but it was impossible for me to notice anything besides the boy in front of me for the moment.

_Bella!_ The blood was calling my name. Surely, I needed it. Just this once, I could… It was imperative. I crept closer to the boy, not wanting to frighten him any further. _Bella!_ it called again and again. Edward blabbered on about something in the background, but it didn't concern me.

I plotted dozens of ways to get the boy away from Edward as I crept. I could lure it into the trees with false promises. I could allow it to follow my scent; convince it I was human; that I was rescuing him from certain death; that I was, in fact, the good guy. As it sang to me yet again: _Bella!_, something stirred inside me; a memory or recollection of sorts.

"_La tua cantante_," I breathed. "_Il mio cantante_," I said again, louder.

"What?" Edward stopped, mid-sentence, whatever he was saying. "Bella, are you even listening to me?" Then his eyes widened as he processed what I said. "_La_—_tua cantante_? Yours?" He looked incredulous and a little bit scared.

"_Il mio cantante_," I confirmed again in a tense whisper. My eyes set fiercely on the body that housed the blood that sang to me. I began to walk steadily towards him, confident of my abilities.

Before I could so much as say a word to the human, Edward was standing protectively in front of him. I jumped to the left and the right, trying to get past him, but he blocked me every time. I was no longer a newborn and he was faster than me.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. After all he had taken away from me, couldn't he let me have just this?

I turned my back in feigned indifference and stood still for a long moment. The blood continued to entice me, and it was all I could stand not to drop my façade and rush right to it. _It would be so easy, Bella, go on…_ But it couldn't be. Edward was in the way as he always had been. Only this time I could see it. I knew he was merely a barrier, an obstacle that I would just have to overcome.

"Edward," I asked to distract him, "Since when have you taken to feeding on humans? I have known you to be much better." My lip curled. "But then again, it seems I barely knew you at all. The real you."

His voice was startled. "Weren't you listening to anything I said?"

My silence was enough of an answer.

"I—I couldn't bear not being with you, Bella. I was broken. So—well, you could say I've been mourning. It was intended to be a sort of retreat; Rose and Em lent me their villa—and the forest around it. So I could be away from everyone and the endless reminders of you that I couldn't take anymore. But, Bella—" He swallowed hard. "I lost myself, these past three years."

"You've been here—_three years_?" I still hadn't turned around to face him.

I heard him nod his head. "Before the first month without you was over, I left to find someplace. I moved from location to location, but nothing seemed to ease the pain. Finally, Rose suggested this place to me. It hasn't repaired me, but at least numbed the ache. Although—" I heard the smile in his voice. "—Em and Rosie still come to visit their little villa sometimes. Whenever they do, I have to run far, far away if I don't want to be around for the earthquake they cause."

I nearly laughed; remembering when Edward told me how destructive Emmett and Rosalie could be in bed.

"In fact," Edward continued, "I had to do so today."

I frowned. "Today?" I had gotten the impression from Rosalie's letters that they wouldn't be needing or using the villa while I was here. I supposed they may have wanted to make sure it was perfect for me, and gotten distracted while they were there…Their activities then--that was what had altered the tilt of the photographs and furniture. But why hadn't they fixed it? I had not known Rose to be careless.

"Funny, though." I could hear a frown in Edward's voice as well. "They ran away when someone else arrived. Er, I mean you," he added sheepishly.

I was utterly bewildered. Why would they do that? Perhaps they didn't want to be embarrassed that they had been making love in the villa I was soon to be staying in. I would be too…that is, if I had anyone to do it with. But it did explain why they had left everything askew; they would have been too rushed to fix anything. I made a mental note to joke about it in a future letter to Rose.

I stayed quiet and calm as I could. I wanted Edward to be caught off-guard when I jumped at him, but the blood was making my whole body lean backwards toward the human and I couldn't focus on the conversation. I needed to end this soon.

_I'll attack Edward if I need to_, I thought, and was surprised at the vehement of my conscience in responding, _No, you won't_. I sighed. No, I guess I wouldn't. At least, I hoped I wouldn't have to.

"Um…interesting," I said quickly to cut through the silence when I realized I should say something.

I felt his eyes boring a hole through my back. "Yes," he said slowly. I wondered if he knew what I was up to. _Remember, Bella_, I had to reassure myself, _He can't read your mind_. _That hasn't changed._

"Bella," Edward finally sighed, "I can't let you feed on this boy. You can't take away an innocent life. Think, Bella! If I had succumbed to my _cantante_, you would be dead." His voice wavered. "You can't give in. Struggle against it. It worked for me." His arm reached out for my shoulder but I stepped away and he pulled back meekly. "Be strong."

"You talk of taking away an innocent's life, yet you were the one to bring the boy here," I said with disgust.

"I wasn't going to do it. Bella, I—I'm very weak right now, but seeing you again has strengthened me. I won't let you do this. You'll regret it afterwards, I know from experience." There was a bitter note to his voice.

"It'll be worth it," I said flatly.

"Bella," he pleaded, "I'll take this boy back, somewhere he'll be safe." His voice softened. "You're not a murderer."

I was barely paying attention to his words. _Distract him, Bella. Give him something to think about. _It was as if the blood were directing my every move, thought, and word.

"So—Edward," I began hesitantly, trying to think of a conversation-starter. Then the boy's blood put the idea in my head. "You claim you still want me back? After everything you've done to me?"

"Yes," he replied unflinchingly. "I would do anything."

I slowly turned to face him. "Even—share?" I directed a hungry, pleading stare at the human.

Edward swallowed hard but there was no hesitation in his answer. "Yes."

I steeled myself, and before he could change his mind, I kissed him square on the mouth, wanting to make it seem passionate. I hoped it would distract him long enough for me to snatch the boy.

I tried to rip away quickly, but my lips wouldn't let go. "Mmph, Edward." He pulled me tight to his body. Something hot flared up inside me and I felt the human's blood release its grasp on me. Of course. This is what I had wanted all along. Why hadn't I seen it before? Never mind that stupid human, I was strong enough to resist its pull.

I sucked on Edward's lower lip. I hadn't tasted him in years, and couldn't imagine how I had survived without that taste for so long.

I slammed him against a tree and he let out a little yelp. "You've gotten strong," he managed to sputter nervously and a little giddily. I kissed him all the harder.

Never mind what he had done to me in the past, that could wait 'til later. For now, all I cared about was the present: his lips on mine and mine on his. I could stay here forever.


End file.
